**(Article + Result + Thoughts)
“‘Developing skills of assertiveness is more important than any other skill young people can develop’. To what extent should we accept this claim?”
Assertiveness. A term you might hear in your PSD lessons occasionally. Many do not take this term seriously, but I believe it holds many things in that one word. It came to me as a significant topic to be discussed hence found it truly worthy of researching and studying. Being assertive is an indispensable skill to develop for young people, as it moulds them into a person who can effectively interact externally and internally. I define assertiveness as being respectful and honest, standing up for yourself and communicating in a healthy way. Lots of other skills are also essential just to claim assertiveness is the best among them, but it is certainly a skill that play a big role in maturing into a healthy individual. It can definitely be ameliorated, therefore, we should accept the need to learn and build up this skill.
Assertiveness covers a large number of meanings and forms, having lots of positive sides along with a somewhat negative side. Myriads of experts have defined assertiveness differently, although all on the same track. The University of Mississippi(2020) defines assertiveness as the “Honest and appropriate expression of one’s feelings, opinions, and needs” in a clear manner. Also, it’s about authentic and effective communication while “building real long-term relationships”. Saying “no” without feeling guilty(Pipas, 2010). As the definitions show, assertiveness has innumerable benefits. Livesy(2019) indicates that assertiveness is the fundamental aspect of collaboration and cooperation, that it pulls out creativity. Also, it makes you a better leader, creating safe environments where all opinions are valued and voiced, mistakes shared(ibid, 2019). Not only that, it leads to better attention performance, easily interact with and receive information from our surroundings(de la Torre, 2021), an imperative ability for young people to absorb knowledge and get influenced by the positives. Additionally, improved health and mental state, strengthened relationships, reduced stress and conflicts and providing social support can be achieved by assertiveness(Pipas, 2010). But why do so many people avoid being assertive despite all the benefits? It is because of the fear of displeasing others and of not being liked. However, if you withhold asserting yourself, in the long run, relationships can be jeopardized, even though you can avoid the “immediate unpleasantness” (University of Mississippi, 2020). Also, the fact that there is “no guarantee things will work out” can be considered a disadvantage; sometimes people can find it uncomfortable or offensive with you being direct and frank(Ottawa Depression Algorithm, 2021). Nevertheless, I concluded that the benefits outdo the disadvantage since the harm is too slight for the benefits you get.
Assertiveness shows a conspicuous difference from the other styles of communication, also can be separated into different forms. Passive and aggressive communication styles are the contrasting behaviour. If one portrays passive behaviour, they fear conflict so much that they would rather maintain peace by hiding their true feelings and needs, leading to “total loss of self-esteem”(Pipas, 2010). Aggressiveness, the complete opposite of passivity, is a hostile way of communication that ensures your needs are being met, but the right of the other is threatened(Ottawa Depression Algorithm, 2021). The characters in the book Matilda shows the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness. For instance, Matilda is an assertive character who back up herself, without being ignorant of her and others’ rights, being confident and courageous. Contrarily, Ms Trunchball is an aggressive character, she achieves her desires by threatening, throwing, trapping children in the chokey, etc. Balancing these opposing styles makes you capable of being assertive since you need to ensure your needs are being met but also have to avoid aggressive conflicts and try to maintain a reasonable amount of peace. According to the university of Mississippi(2020), this style of communication can be divided into four forms; First, Basic Assertion, which is expressing your emotions, feelings and beliefs in a simple, straightforward way. Secondly, Emphatic Assertion, which has two parts; an acknowledgement of the person’s situation, “followed by a statement in which you stand up for your rights”. Next is Escalating Assertion, becoming firm when your rights are continuously violated. Mentioning the resulting actions may take place. For example, “I know what you have to say is important but I really want to finish what I was saying. If you keep cutting me off, I have to continue this with you next week too.”; emphasising your right without ignoring others’ emotion. Finally, I-language Assertion involves three parts; describe the other’s behaviour and describe how their behaviour specifically affects you. Then, you describe what you want. For example; “When you didn’t prepare your materials, we couldn’t start our project. Next time, I’d like you to bring all the materials allocated to you.”
There are so many other skills than assertiveness, I think they are as significant as being assertive. Unicef(2019) introduced four important skills for adolescents; Foundational, digital, transferable and job-specific skills. Foundational skills are about literacy and numeracy, essential skills for the further development of intelligence. Digital skills enable an understanding of technology, collaboration, communication, problem-solving skills, etc. Transferable skills, also known as soft or life skills, socio-emotional or twenty-first-century skills, allow “young people to become agile learners” and flexible global citizens. It helps them “cope with trauma and build resilience”. Finally, Job-specific skills are related to occupations thus supports the transition of young people into the workforce. These prepare their future in terms of career and ego, providing beneficial knowledge and information. However, the importance of assertiveness is maintained even when compared because it allows you to be in charge of your life, hence I believe they are equally notable.
Problems associated with assertiveness are actually nearby, but solutions can be applied, fortunately. One of the major problems caused by lack of assertiveness is bullying. The bullies being aggressive, and the victims being passive often ends up with severe bullying. One can say most of the school is educating the students about being assertive, such as through PSHE curriculums, PSD lessons, etc. However, the statistics of bullying, 20.2%(PACER’S National Bullying Prevention Center, 2020), proves it ineffective, since assertive behaviours never reach bullying. I believe Assertive Training Programs can lead people acquire assertiveness and eventually reduce bullying. According to Eslami (2016), 49.2% of students had high amounts of anxiety and 71.4% had a normal amount of stress before it started. After the program, only 11.1% were experiencing anxiety and the number of students who had normal amounts of stress increased to 90.5%, which are highly noticeable change. They claim that anxiety and stress are greatly associated with learning ability, leading to “little understanding of stimuli” and that “learning will never happen unless anxiety reduces” which is detrimental for young people who are gaining as much knowledge as they can. This helps individuals express themselves, consequently increasing their self-esteem and enabling them to problem-solve, “categorize their priorities”(ibid, 2016). Through discussions and assignments, they build self-confidence, social communication skills and more to eventually increase “life satisfaction and happiness”.
Being assertive was a big challenge for me until year 7. It took me years to realise how passivity leaves me stressed with unhealthy relationships. I hope researches can be undertaken on how assertiveness can influence different relationships such as families, academic relationships, religion, etc. Taking everything into account, developing assertiveness is significantly important to all young people as makes you a great leader, communicate in an efficient, respectful manner where you can defend yourself. It allows you to display better attention performance, improve mental and physical health, maintain self-esteem, reduce stress and prevent bullying. The 4 categories of imperative skills can’t be ignored as they are crucial to young people’s development and are very frequently taken advantage of in modern society. Therefore, I conclude that assertiveness is a substantial skill to be developed for young people for their healthy, prudent, perceptive lifestyle along with the alternative skills.
References
de la Torre, G.G., Ramallo, M.A., Gonzalez-Torre, S., Mora Prat, A., Rueda-Marroquin, A., Sallago-Marcos, A., Toro-Barrios, Z. and Garcia, M.A. (2021). Communication Styles and Attention Performance in Primary School Children. Behavioral Sciences, [online] 11(12), p.172. doi:10.3390/bs11120172.
Eslami, A.A., Rabiei, L., Afzali, S.M., Hamidizadeh, S. and Masoudi, R. (2016). The Effectiveness of Assertiveness Training on the Levels of Stress, Anxiety, and Depression of High School Students. Iranian Red Crescent Medical Journal, [online] 18(1). doi:10.5812/ircmj.21096.
Livesey, T. (2019). Why assertiveness really matters. [online] Creative Review. Available at: https://www.creativereview.co.uk/why-assertiveness-really-matters/ [Accessed 14 Oct. 2022].
Ottawa Depression Algorithm (2021). Assertiveness and Communication. [online] ottawadepressionalgorithm.ca. Available at: https://ottawadepressionalgorithm.ca/en/content?id=63 [Accessed 12 Oct. 2022].
Pacer’s National Bullying Prevention Center (2020). Bullying Statistics. [online] www.pacer.org. Available at: https://www.pacer.org/bullying/info/stats.asp [Accessed 13 Oct. 2022].
Pipas, M.D.P. (2010). ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS. [online] researchgate.net. Available at: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Maria-Pipas/publication/227367804_Assertive_Communication_Skills/links/00b7d525cdeba0099a000000/Assertive-Communication-Skills.pdf [Accessed 12 Oct. 2022].
UNICEF (2019). Adolescent education and skills. [online] www.unicef.org. Available at: https://www.unicef.org/education/skills-development
University of Mississippi (2020). Assertiveness. [online] Counseling Center. Available at:
https://counseling.olemiss.edu/common-student-concerns/assertiveness/ [Accessed 13 Oct. 2022].
Though I had written an independent project the year before this, I struggled with this one quite a lot. I guess there are multiple reasons for it, for example, failing with time management. I also did not carefully plan/outline the article, which made it harder to stay on the right track. Keeping the word count less than 1320 was also incredible difficult, because my original essay was 1900 words long, which meant that I need to cut out more than an entire paragraph. Moreover, researching was challenging, since I had no clue what kind of resources I could use at first.
However, I have no doubt that this was an opportunity for me to augment my research and formal writing skills since I wouldn’t go this deep when writing short, timed essays during normal classes. Also, I am happy with my score, it increased from last year and I also got a distinction 🙂 Now as I think of it, I feel like it was pretty enjoyable! I’d like to do a similar project with a different topic in the future.
